


I Want What's Best For You

by wheatandwheatbyproduct



Category: Chuck (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-14 19:00:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18482410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheatandwheatbyproduct/pseuds/wheatandwheatbyproduct
Summary: When Sarah, Chuck, and Bryce are brought together by the Intersect, they have to find ways to be honest with themselves and each other about how they feel.A re-telling of seasons 1 and 2, working with s1 and more or less ignoring s2





	1. Trust

Trust  
       The morning after Bryce died, Sarah walked into the Burbank BuyMore for the first time, tasked with finding stolen intelligence, sent to the man standing before her. He didn’t look like the sort who usually received government secrets. He looked kind. She laid on the good girl act thick, and it was a comfort to be someone else, someone simple. It was a comfort to be with someone else. Someone simple. Chuck was easy to understand, Sarah thought. He loved his friends; he loved his sister. Sarah felt her fake smile slip sometimes when she saw that, into something that might betray worry. She knew as well as anyone that if he didn’t have the information she was after, she would have to take care of him. Or worse, Casey would come in and finish him for her. Casey was a menace, a blunt instrument. She decided to protect Chuck from him, at least.  
       When Chuck revealed he could flash, and see the intel they were after flicker before his eyes, she saw how she could protect him. He would be useful to Washington, and only the useful would be saved. She would take what she could get. In the same hour she saved him from Casey, he saved her, Casey, and a room full of diplomats too.  
       Dawn, third day after Bryce died, Sarah was sitting on a beach with Chuck, convincing him to stay.  
“I can’t figure out why Bryce did this, why he chose me. What are you gonna do with me? What happens now?”  
She wanted to know why Bryce chose him too. Chose Chuck, a civilian, over her. His partner. He had betrayed the CIA when he went rogue, but mostly he had betrayed her.  
She didn’t say that. She told him she’d protect him and his family. She didn’t promise.  
“Trust me, Chuck,” She said, sure he didn’t know the true weight of what she asked, but asking nonetheless.  
       Chuck, Sarah, and Casey were given an ongoing assignment: Project Intersect. They went on a few missions and Chuck did wonderfully. She’s so impressed by him, his quick thinking, his bravery in the face of situations he was never trained for. But he never did what she asked of him. He never protected himself, he never trusted her.  
       One day he asked point blank if she had been more to Bryce than a work partner and Sarah lied. She imagined it was to protect her cover, to keep Chuck safe too somehow, but it was a selfish lie. She wanted to keep her memories of Bryce, the fact that she still remembered him fondly even while she hated how he turned on the CIA and on her. She wanted to keep Chuck for herself too. An impossible wish, secret to herself as to anyone: she wanted to love Bryce when she knew she should hate him; she wanted Chuck to love her when she couldn’t allow herself to reciprocate. But the relief that filled his face when he heard that lie hurt. She had asked him to trust her and he finally did. He saw her hesitation.  
“You and Bryce, being together, that’s not true right?”  
“It was complicated” She said.  
       It had and it hadn’t been. It felt cruel to say that she had loved him. That maybe he had loved her too. They had been partners in every sense of the word, acting with one mind, in a sense of intimacy in the face of life and death beyond the definitions of a “relationship”. Chuck always asked her for more, but how could she give him any more than she did? She saved his life, to spies that’s a love letter. How could he ask so much of her? They never talked about it anymore, but Bryce had died only a month ago, the wound his loss left within her untended and unwilling to heal. Mourning, even for spies, took time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to update about once a week, shifting 3rd person perspective among our 3 romantic leads. Please feel free to leave (constructive) criticism or requests for future chapters. Thanks!


	2. Memory

Memory  
Chuck had been overcome with memories of college all day, ever since his sister Ellie had mentioned the trip to Stanford for the UCLA game. But as much trouble as he had reliving bad memories, none of them were as painful as the good ones. Memories of Bryce had been inescapable on campus, their scene of their friendship and his betrayal. Or so Chuck had thought.  
Chuck was back at Ellie’s apartment now, feeling lost. Bryce had gotten him kicked out of Stanford to protect him from the spy life that had gotten him killed. Bryce, his best friend, had always cared for him, and Chuck had hated him for so long. Chuck lay in bed, contemplating the picture of them he had pulled out of the trash, and knowing Bryce had done all this to protect him. He wasn’t sure if he could forgive him yet, but there was one memory that had lingered at the edge of his mind all day which he thought he might now finally be able to look back on.

They had held nerf battles in the library several times. Bryce always played dirty. He was good at sneaking up behind Chuck, and always waited until Chuck whirled around to hit him point blank in the chest. One time Chuck was quicker though, and wrenched the gun out of Bryce’s hands.  
“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t shoot” he said, aiming both guns.  
“Because,” Bryce smiled, hands raised “I’m defenseless.” He paused. “Helpless.” He stepped forward slightly. “At your mercy.”  
“Ah ah, don’t think I didn’t see that” Chuck warned.  
Bryce slowly sank to his knees, hands still raised. “See what?”  
Chuck froze, not wanting to ruin it, needing to see what would happen next.

It wasn’t the first time they had kissed. It wasn’t the first time they had touched. They had never acknowledged what they were doing though. It was always in the dark, always drunk or half asleep or both, anything for plausible deniability. In the library stacks, though at the back of the reference section, the artificial lighting was unforgiving. Cruel even, when Bryce slipped open Chucks belt and Chuck had to watch his fingers lingering so close, and so far. The nerf guns, still dangling by his side clattered to the library carpet. When Bryce hooked his fingertips in the waistband of his underwear, Chuck, torn, forced himself to speak.  
“Bryce,” he gasped, “are you sure”  
Bright blue eyes caught his gaze and held it as Bryce slid the waistband down over his hips. Chuck stopped breathing, and grasped at the bookshelves behind him for support. Bryce pressed a soft kiss to one hip bone before turning his attention to Chuck’s erection. Bryce closed his eyes as he let the head rest on his tongue, and Chuck watched, transfixed, as he slowly slid his lips further and further down. Bryce took his time, torturously so, enjoying the feeling, the weight of Chuck in his mouth, his throat. Chuck held back as many noises as he could, but still was terrified of being found out every time one escaped. He couldn’t help it though, seeing the movements of Bryce’s lips shiny with spit, and every time he did make a sound, a softer needier one came from Bryce. Chuck could see Bryce was hard too, but Bryce made no move to touch himself, intent only on hearing Chuck, stealing glances at his face and collecting every tremble of his hips. Chuck allowed himself to run his fingers through Bryce’s hair, careful not to push, and was overcome. Bryce quickened at the touch.  
“Please,” Chuck whispered, “Bryce, I’m-”  
Bryce continued, steady and deliberate through Chucks orgasm. Chuck’s shoulders fell forward, his body arching around the point where he and Bryce met, his eyes closed, his hand still gently holding Bryce’s head. Bryce sat back slightly and carefully fixed first Chuck’s underwear and pants, then his own hair.  
When Chuck heard a plastic click he looked up. Bryce’s triumphant smile didn’t reach something deeper, unreadable in his eyes, when he fired a single shot into the center of Chuck’s chest. “Good game, Chuck”

 

Chuck sighed and put the photo he had been holding on his bedside table. They had never talked about it, never done anything like it after that. Chuck had started dating Jill soon after anyhow. As close as they had been, Chuck never fully understood Bryce. He knew now that some of that had been because of Bryce’s second life in the CIA, but that wasn’t everything. Part of it was just who Bryce was. His instinct was always to keep some part of himself tucked behind his stunning ability to endear himself to everyone, it seemed. Chuck had admired that ability in college, called it his “superpower”. He wondered now if it had also been a curse.


End file.
